1. |
This Is My Year
01:28
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this is my year
please, hear me!
this is my year
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2. |
S & Z Fitzgerald
02:54
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straighten my tie,
graze my sleeve,
and blink your eye
i’ll tie your scarf with polka dots,
the silk smooth,
a double knot
we look like scott and zelda
pull me into the green leaf haven
we’ll drink and dance
our sillhouettes captured in the summer sunse
swing the empty bottle of red wine we didn’t buy
like a parasol at your side
when we compose a note together
we sign it ‘s & z fitzgerald’
by the riverside turn out coyly
in your white tie and tails
stop me under the canopy
gaze over my white tie and tails
stay up till 5 a.m. with me
and stroll along the avenue
once again, it is 1922
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3. |
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we pretended we were in southern italy
dressed like fashion sketches jumping off the page
we pretended we were twenty-something hipsters
making photocopies of a boy ballerina
we pretended we were normal teens
kissing on the couch in my parent’s house
but we stopped pretending
after the greatest hug
you are my teddy bear
giving my strings a little tug
and we stopped pretending
when i walked you home
under a low moon
the shadow of the greenery touched
the shadow of our clasped hands
and we stopped pretending
in the wide spotlight
middle of the street
i was your hankercheif
when i spoke with three sweet face kisses
never have silent words been so well heard
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4. |
4 a.m.
03:48
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“4 a.m. it’s closing time”
you spoke so tenderly
we kissed on your front steps so severely
it felt like we were recovering from troubled times
and maybe we were
i walked off into the mist
m
earlier we’d talked of memories of middle school
and how r.e.m. sort of saved our lives
well tonight your copy of UP lifted me up
over one last little hill
where my corduroy lowtops came untied
i saw reflections of every street light
those cold sparks seemed to say
“i think you can.”
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5. |
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the train looked like it was moving backwards
we were surrounded by voices and stale smells
so we moved four rows to four seats facing forwards
and out the window of the gliding jail cell
we saw a castle in the water up on a hill;
a fortress from the revolutionary way
the revolutionary war!
the concert was the perfect get-away
we’d all forgotten how looking at the looming buildings
is like holding a parent’s hand when you are small
we ran through new york city and we
jumped on every bench that we found
we ran through
jumped on every bench that we found
the lampposts in the spooky park held real flames
i looked at myself across the subway car and realized that
“i’m in new york city and this night will not end
until we’re back in vermont and snug in our beds”
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6. |
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in the front yard, on the swing
i’ll be squinting to make out all the words
in the
the concluding drowsy rereading
of 'Summer Crossing'
with my eyes i will film
with a wide angle lense
every second of the summer
this time i’ll be able to play back
pints of coconut milk ice cream shared
sweaty sheets tossed away from late sleepers
heads stuck out the sunroof in northwest night light
picnics in the park, grass stains left over
trampoline jumping, bed thumping
hiking illegaly after hours off the trail
dangling legs from a ledge over a remote river
singing with peers & being moved to tears
movies under blankets by the campfire
gin, lemonade, and tapes & tapes made
sounds of saturday looksgood to me
personifying every second of the summer
this time i won’t neglect
the teenage freedom of late july
this time i won’t forget
that the beauty of our friendships lie
in the lasting way we save our days
in our pockets they go home with us and stay
the teenage freedom of late july
i won’t ever let it die...
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7. |
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personal pie still warm
devoured on the hood of the car
with popsicle sti
all around here we find patches of perfect
bare barked boney trees
swaying in their littered leaves
where trevor and i sat on a long log,
laying lovingly along the forest floor
the october wind blows and the jack-o-lanterns glow
this is autumn, this is my privelaged life
this is “borning,” this is my surpassed strife
four years now i’ve been the me i aim to be
i hope to still be learning at thirty
so i can write a precocious autobiography
and site the night in the backseat
dancing stupidly to shitty depeche mode tapes
and kidnapping a cardboard stand up
from hannaford’s grocery store
or the sunday we constructed a clubhouse
on the fourth floor of the visual & performing arts building
where no one can watch us working
the rhythmic rumble of the radiator
personifies our productivity
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8. |
Winter's Sudden Splendor
04:45
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winter is wading in
spreading out, up and around the house
the way high tides
calmly crash, up and around sea shores
i have not seen snow
of this storybook quality
since i was six, with freezing fingers
and i remember holding my hands
palms up high to the azure sky
to catch the visible warmth of the sun
floating down to thaw all the frosty noses,
fingers and toes
tonight there is a specific peacefullness
with the scent of celery and butter
drifting in from the kitchen
i wish for all to be safe this way
the slow motion migration &
the fast flickering flame
assure me that everything is & will be okay
this tea that comforts me
was compiled creatively
this cardigan that clothes me
was cabled with care
this song that compliments my mood
was sung three decades ago
on a day of similarly settling snow
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9. |
Sentimental Education
03:44
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once again, stepping out to haunt the old haunts
passing the houses of fifth grade friends
you stop in the spot where you stop
at the minivan’s tinted window
to look at your reflection
and breathe it in and seal it in
the shopping center is lit up with many white lights
the bar is open even though its sunday but at least there are no fights
if your life was a graphic novel
these intersections would be wordless frames
!homes, yards, stop signs and stars!
the breezeway of your middle school seems so fucking small
and you check to make sure that the desks
in the art room are still splattered with 30 years old paint
in the hallway lit now for no one on a summer night
the ghosts of your teachers and classmates wait
you know your favorite one of them is dying
another lost his dad
some have had babies and abandoned them
some you have no clue as to what has become of them
and with a bounce in your step, you turn to the quiet neighborhood,
your quiet neighborhood...
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10. |
Pomegranate
03:46
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you tore into a pomegranet
and i doubted you could handle it
but by the time of its demise
you were a wearwolf in disguise
covered- lips & chin & knees with ruby
matching our flushed faces
and if the skin was lifted from any part of me
you wouldn’t have to look
you would crawl with closed eyes and know my insides
seasons continue to cycle through
i will follow the sun as it dips
into the landscape
in the days before it starts to hybernate
and when our twilit house
welcomes me home
you will be there, wrapped, momentarily sedate
and this is the ninteenth song
written for you with this same simple note
and with it i sew myself into the lining of your coat
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11. |
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this decade i will live with my past as the primer
for the canvas i will cover
with brighter, better colors
and a new sense of composition
i have come a long way since my pre-college days
and as the faces of friends change
i willl do my best to stay the same
“i shall be lifted higher than any of you on the backs of the seasons”
my teenage years will become
box-in-attic memories
and each year to come
will be added to the sum
of collected recollections
i can connect the solstice and the equinox with
a new album and a new adventure
when my lady leaves me and finds herself a girl
i’ll just have to unfurl my tensions,
smile and try to envision
a justified epilogue
when i’m unable to laugh
i’ll recite Virginia
and my sadness will be cut in half
“i shall be lifted higher than than any of you on the backs of the seasons”
a snowball will fly
and hit a flowering tree
and make it sprout leaves
which eventually will fall
but i will stay standing, standing, standing, standing tall
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Advrb Portland, Oregon
Andrew Barton plays, sings, and records as Advrb.
Kellen Hopfner sings with
him.
Josh Bay plays cello and electric piano.
Elisabeth Ryan plays drums.
Joshua James Amberson plays bass.
The band sounds both quiet and loud.
... more
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